Labor.
It's the one thing pregnant women probably all fear the most. Before I went into labor all I wanted to know was what it would feel like. I scoured the internets for some hint, some small clue as to what it might feel like so I could know it when I felt it. Seems silly, but it's this great unknown and I wanted to know more about it.
I'd had a hint of it when my placenta detached from my uterine wall, and again when I went into pre-labor for a few days, but I wasn't at all sure any of that would really help me understand what, exactly, I was looking for. Everything says you'll know it when you feel it. Well, la-dee- freaking-da, that's wonderful, only I doubt believe it. You hear all these stories about people not knowing and then going to poop only to come out of the bathroom with a baby. I don't want to be that girl, despite the fact that it would be hilarious. I just want, in clear, concise terms, the feeling of labor to be explained to me so that I can be ready for it.
As it turns out, ready for it is the one thing you can never be. Even if I had had someone describe it to me, it wouldn't have done me any good. For one thing, it would probably just have scared me and for another it's a completely difference experience for every woman. No birth is the same, despite the fact that the biological mechanisms controlling it are. Not only will everyone feel something different, but we all have different pain tolerances too. One woman's hell is another's really fucked up paradise. But, because I searched for it, I know other women will be too so, I've decided to document what I felt, in the hopes that it will help someone else be a little less freaked out. (Although when they read my description, it will probably have the exact opposite effect. Seeing as how I lived to write this tale, it's obviously something you can get through, even if it will one of the most unpleasant experiences of your life.)
It starts off innocuously enough; just some light cramping sensations that gradually grow stronger. Then it hits. Painful stomach like cramps. Sure, it's your uterus, not your stomach, but imagine having a stomach bug, that's kinda what it feels like. From there it progresses into the single most unpleasant sensation you will ever feel. Nothing else will likely hurt as much as contractions do, and no amount of focuses breathing will help ease the pain. It just HURTS and it hurts a lot. I liken it to the feeling of being sliced open by thousands of burning razor blades. It comes in waves, swelling with rapid intensity until it hits it's peak and fades away only to rise again with more force than before. It's like the tide is coming in to your internal organs and it's relentless in its attack.
If you're lucky, you'll have breaks in between said waves, I did not. Unbeknownst to me until after I gave birth, I had H.E.L.L.P syndrome which made my labor progress extraordinarily fast. So fast I did not get to enjoy the benefit of drugs. By the time I got my epidural, I had already advanced to 8 cm. It kicked in after I had started pushing. I felt EVERYTHING. And yet, I survived. I screamed a lot, just noise, not words, I felt worse than I have every felt, and more helpless due to pain than I ever felt, but I survived and honestly, I know I could do it that way again. (Do I want to? Hell no, but I could)
So even if you read this, and find yourself scared of labor, don't be. You can survive it and if the pain is too much, drugs exist. The nurses will help you through it all. You may not feel what I felt, you may feel back pain, or mild cramping or even what feels like crazy bad gas, but, it's true. When labor hits, you'll know it when you feel it.
